Don't Breathe Review

Don't Breathe

Money: "Just cause he's blind don't mean he's a saint, bro."

    Don't Breathe is directed by Fede Alvarez (Evil Dead 2013 remake) and stars Jane Levy as Rocky, Dylan Minnette as Alex, Daniel Zovatto as Money, and Stephen Lang as The Blind Man.

So Kevin Federline, the girl covered in blood in Evil Dead, the older brother who couldn't keep an eye on his sister in Prisoners, and the bad guy from Avatar take up the majority of the screen time?...Sounds pretty cool!

    Alex, Rocky, and Money are three friends that rob houses to steal jewelry or small valuable objects to make some money on the side. They plan to go to California when they have a lead about a blind veteran sitting on a great deal of cash in his house. Soon after they find out, the three thieves enter his home. However, with tense and sometimes even disturbing events, these friends learn that they messed with the wrong man and he'll do anything he is remotely capable of to keep his money and his secrets from leaving the house.

By "remotely capable", I mean he'll shoot you, stab you, strangle you, or pretty much do anything to kill you.

    "........" is what a lot of the audience was saying in my theater while watching this movie. There were those occasional bursts of laughter when everyone yelled in fright at the same time, but they were laughing because the moment of fear got everyone. I'm seriously in shock at how good this movie is. I mean, I saw the trailer and I immediately set my timer to the date it was going to be released because the trailer has all the signals of originality. What I'm shocked by, is that Don't Breathe exceed my expectations in a landslide. I'm not even joking when I say that I was curling my fingers and toes (I could also feel my intestines moving around in discomfort) because of how tense the moments of action and the moments in between were. It's so refreshing to see that there aren't any of those clichéd jump scares, "don't go in there, you idiot!" scenes, or characters that aren't interesting, but you kind of have to root for them because they're the main characters. The jump scares in Don't Breathe work because they build up the tension and the work with the characters point of view. The movements of characters into rooms or opening doors are feel like real choices that I or you could actually make in this sort of situation, and the characters are actually sort of complicated, if you think about it. Sometimes you root for the blind man, sometimes you root for the thieves. The all have their believable backgrounds, but none of them are uninteresting. Really though, Don't Breathe is a mind blowing to me. I thought I had seen it all, in terms of incorporating new elements in a horror/thriller film. I'm totally relieved that there are good people out there making good films for people to enjoy.

Sometimes I can't even tell if he's the hero or the villain.

    As all good horror movies go, the audience should feel tense and uncomfortable for the majority of the film. They should feel scared like they're actually in the movie; attached to the film in some way. Don't Breathe really brings out the nervousness in a person, at least for me it did. The title itself is a good example of living up to its name. For the entire film after the first 15 or 20 minutes, I was squirming in my seat trying not to breathe (as if I was actually in the movie). Every scene built up tension to the next scene, then to next one, then to the next one. I honestly can't say I wasn't engaged or didn't have clammy hands in any part of the film. I was f***ing anxious! A good amount of that has to do with the direction and the writing of Don't Breathe. There is one particular scene (also partly seen in the trailer) that has two characters, Alex and Rocky, stumbling on top of objects in a basement with the lights off. The two actors wore contact lenses that restricted their eyesight greatly. This is what I think should be done for all movies: going as deep as possible to be put in the exact situation as their characters. I could feel the tension of the actors in that scene, as I'm sure they felt. That reminds me to give praise to the camera work. All of the shots in Don't Breathe felt genuine. What I mean by that is that it adds to the atmosphere of almost being there with lots of one-shot scenes. I think this is as close as you can get to handheld/found footage films. This on top of all the other nail biting moments in Don't Breathe make this film a modern horror classic.

How freaky would it be to make your getaway from your murder in pitch black? I'm guessing very.

    Don't Breathe has its faults in the way it ends. I wouldn't say it's a bad ending. I kind of like how it chose to go with its twist ending, but there are about two or so endings it could've taken. It dragged on a bit too long with getting to the credits. I am a little upset and disappointed about that because it could've been a bit shorter, but with a short 1 hour and 28 minutes as its running time, there wasn't much the film could've done to prevent that. It's unfortunate because we can't really have a movie be like 50 minutes and we really can't have it be a long ass 2 hours. It's the risk a film, especially a horror film, takes when it seems to be great in all the ways imaginable, but the flaw is in how it chooses its ending because of running time. I don't want to blame it solely on how the writers choice to extend the film to make it a bit longer because I really can't see any other way around it. I'm just glad Don't Breathe didn't drag on for as long as it could have. It did what it had to do to please the audience and critics. Plus, the ending that was chosen isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be. I'm really just saying that I thought the movie was over at one point when it actually wasn't.

Ending #1: Money kills the blind man in his sleep. The end. We would have 20 minutes consisting of background stories for nothing.

    All in all, I am so pleased that my expectations were exceeded. Don't Breathe is a white-knuckling film that leaves you guessing where the younger characters will hide or run from a blind man trying to kill them. It's original as hell and therefore a film that needs to be seen by people who are always complaining that Hollywood isn't making good and original films anymore. All you need to remember is that you shouldn't mess with people who you think are easy targets because it may turn out that they can kick your ass and stab you with gardening scissors...that just took a turn for the dark. Sorry. Don't Breathe is dark in every sense of the word, anyways. Go see it!

4.5/5

PRO

• Original idea
• Tense and nail-biting as hell
• Camera work

CON

• Dragged out ending

Don't Breathe is rated R for terror, violence, disturbing content, and language including sexual references

Click here to watch the trailer

Don't Breathe is in theaters everywhere now

    Thanks for reading, everybody! I really do appreciate it. Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on Facebook here and Twitter here to receive updates on new reviews and trailer drops. Also, if you've already seen Don't Breathe, comment and let me know what you think of it. Thanks again!

Check This One Out! - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Check This One Out! - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Sam: "Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we're nothing?"

Charlie: "We accept the love we think we deserve."

    The Perks of Being a Wallflower is directed by Stephen Chbosky (The Four Corners of Nowhere) and stars Logan Lerman as Charlie, Emma Watson as Sam, Ezra Miller as Patrick, Mae Whitman as Mary Elizabeth, Nina Dobrev as Candace, Dylan McDermott as Charlie's Father, Kate Walsh as Charlie's Mother, Johnny Simmons as Brad, Erin Wilhelmi as Alice, Adam Hagenbuch as Bob, Nicholas Braun as Ponytail Derek, Zane Holtz as Chris, Melanie Lynksey as Aunt Helen, Paul Rudd as Mr. Anderson, and Joan Cusack as Dr. Burton.

Oh man! I didn't realize that Logan Lerman is made out of cardboard! Give that inanimate object a damn Oscar!

    Charlie is a shy and socially awkward teenager starting his first year of high school. He has just come back from a mental health center to get better, but everyone he was friends with has changed and he is now a wallflower, someone who watches everybody and their actions from the sidelines; never actually being involved (basically everyone who deals with social anxiety). Fortunately, he meets two seniors, Patrick and Sam. Now we watch lovable Charlie live the joys of relationships and love, while also dealing with the mistakes he makes with his new found friends and his mental illness. It's life in a nutshell through the eyes of a beautiful human being (who also happens to be a freshman in high school).

That milkshake scene almost made milk come out my nose because it was so funny...I wasn't drinking milk at the time...maybe I should go see a doctor.

    Damn, I've been watching a lot of beautiful films lately. The Perks of Being a Wallflower is no exception either. This movie actually is personally more beautiful to me due to the portrayal of mental illness and its host's interaction with it and life. It's rare to find those films that can accurately represent an illness as complicated as depression and turn it into a funny, charming, sad, and heart-warming study case of a movie. Thank you, Logan Lerman for allowing us to see the hurt and confused person behind Charlie's happy and kind shell. This is hard for Hollywood to do, for some reason. They usually show the mentally ill as dangerous or crazy, whatever that means. Anyways, it's not only the portrayal of mental illness that drew me closer into the story, but it was also because of the dialogue. Holy crap, were the characters so real! To those who've seen The Perks of Being a Wallflower, you might think that the dialogue might be a bit theatrical or filled with forced emotional context/conversations. I can easily counteract that with one word: clique. What I mean is that the group Charlie is a part of with Sam and Patrick are outcasts and weirdos; they don't fit in with the jocks or the nerds. To be honest, they're kind of emo. However, the more and more I think about it, their interests can fit into the whole spectrum of high school cliques. That's actually why I love this movie so much: the main characters are real. Everybody has different interests and passions. A star quarterback on the varsity high school team (typically considered a jock) could love reading comic books (activity typically associated with geeks) or the guy who sits at the lunch table by himself/herself playing Minecraft (typically considered a geek) can really love playing soccer and be very skilled (an activity typically associated with jocks). This movie doesn't conform to stereotypes. It reflects the reality of people in high school. We really should have more movies like this. On top of that, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is also a romance film. Yeah, you heard right! This is literally just life throughout a year in high school. I think I may be just a bit biased, but these are the kinds of films that get to me because I can see some events that happened in my life in a variety of scenes in this genre (coming of age).

I never had a daredevil clique in my school. They were actually just called dumbasses, but in the movie it looks as hell.

    If this doesn't interest you, then the soundtrack will. Why is it that coming of age films usually have terrific soundtracks? Whatever. I'm not going to fight it. It unfolds my love for these films even more so I'm not complaining. I have been watching a string of these movies lately and I think The Perks of Being a Wallflower is among the best of the ones I have seen (there have been probably 7 or 8). Please, please, please take 1 hour and 45 minutes to watch this film. It will make you cry, laugh, and think. Isn't that what you want out of a movie? Maybe a couple of explosions here and there, but hey, they can't always beef it up with violence.

Logan Lerman will be disappointed if you don't see it.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is rated PG-13 for mature thematic material, drug and alcohol use, sexual content including references, and a fight - all involving teens

Click here to watch the trailer

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is now available on DVD, Blu-ray, and Digital Download

    Thanks for reading, everybody! I really do appreciate it. Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on Facebook here and Twitter here to receive updates on new reviews and trailer drops. Also, if you've already seen The Perks of Being a Wallflower, comment and let me know what you think of it. I'll post another Check This One Out! next week. Thanks again!

Kubo and the Two Strings Review

Kubo and the Two Strings

Kubo:  "If you must blink, do it now. Pay careful attention to everything you see. No matter how unusual it may seem. If you look away, even for an instant, then our hero will surely perish."

    Kubo and the Two Strings is directed by Travis Knight (directorial debut!) and stars Art Parkinson as Kubo, Charlize Theron as Monkey, Matthew McConaughey as Beetle, Rooney Mara as The Sisters, Brenda Vaccaro as Kameyo, Ralph Fiennes as Moon King, George Takei as Hosato, and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa as Hashi.

Our heroes are a monkey, a beetle man thing, and a kid...awesome!

    Kubo, an imaginative and spirited boy, accidentally calls upon the Moon King who, throughout Kubo's life, wants Kubo to join him in immortality; to basically spit on the humans he has grown to know and love. Now the world he knows has come to a crashing halt because he is on his own without his mother, who has protected him from the Moon King, to try and find the armor of his long lost warrior of a father that can protect him from the evil that's chasing him. Along the way, Kubo meets strange accomplices that join him on his mission, but many obstacles, that which no kid should have to witness, stand in his way.

One of those obstacles are two evil sisters that look creepy as hell.

    Laika is the company behind Kubo and the Two Strings, along other stop motion animation films like ParaNorman, Coraline, and The Boxtrolls. With these powerhouse films on their resume, Laika should have no problem continuing this greatness or even exceeding it, right? RIGHT??? Yes. Kubo and the Two Strings is really friggin' good. I enjoyed this movie from beginning to end, starting off with the captivating visuals. Holy moly, is stop motion animation so satisfying to see in this day and age of film. Of course there are some 3D aspects to this film, like lighting or even the magic that comes out of the instrument's strings that Kubo plucks (I don't want to assume it's a guitar, mandolin, or other strings instrument if I'm not totally positive). However, despite there being some 3D animation, almost 95% of Kubo and the Two Strings is done with clay or wood. This looks absolutely gorgeous. I can't even take a guess as to how many hours the animation department took to make all the details look this perfect. I'm afraid if I guess, the number will be too low. Stop motion animation is in my top 5 favorite subgenres of films, therefore I do give the film some slack if it's not up to standards with movies like The Godfather or Citizen Kane. Even though Kubo and the Two Strings isn't a perfect movie, I don't have a problem saying that almost everything about it is fun and entertaining, especially the animation style.

Even Kubo's amazed at the world surrounding him.

    I was on the fence on whether I liked the incorporation of important mature subject matters in a kid's movie or the animation more. It was a close call, but I want to put the animation above that. The thing is, the more I think about it, Kubo and the Two Strings uses the animation to its advantage to get the mature themes to kids. The action is awesome and it's just what a kid wants and is used to, but the theme of dealing with death and grieving about it is blended with it's fantastic form of showmanship. I'm not even joking, this film is one color change away from becoming a dark fairy tale filled with scary monsters and death. Luckily, Laika sure knows how to maintain a color palate suited for children and adults. This keeps the children entertained while subconsciously wondering about grief and what it means. Yeah, I'm sure you're thinking that isn't a good idea and it sounds like the opposite of what we should be teaching kids; to not be depressed, however, it's important to show the youth to be prepared for life and that not everything is going to be fine and dandy. Good things come out of bad situations and Kubo and the Two Strings shows us that. We can celebrate death, we can mourn for those who have died in our past, we can do whatever we want to deal with a loss, but in the end, we just have to remember them for the good times and be happy that we even met those people. That lesson is in a damn kids movie!

Mom! I can handle it! You don't have to treat me like a little kid! Gosh!

    I said earlier that this movie isn't perfect. Well, I abide by that, however the only problem for me is the pacing of some scenes. Now I'm just nitpicking. I normally don't like to do that. I mean, the entirety of the Kubo and the Two Strings is fun, it's engaging, it's heart-warming/heart-wrenching at times, and it's beautiful to look at. There were just those moments where I had problems following the footsteps of our heroes. There's are many scenes where someone blacks out or throws something (to the audience) and it suddenly cuts to black. Fade in and the climax of the event has just passed and we never get to see the action of the outcome. We just see the outcome. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but as an example: there is a scene where Monkey is fighting one of the evil twin sisters that's hunting Kubo on a boat in the middle of a storm. They fight, Monkey talks smack or something, she lunges towards the evil sister trying to kill her and then...cut to black. Kubo and Beetle swim to the surface of the water to the boat, Monkey is on a broken plank of the boat holding the evil sister's mask. This happens like 6 times throughout the movie. I understand that this is a kid's movie and there shouldn't be any blood, but come on. There should be some sort of continuous fight scene that doesn't cut out any awesome details or dialogue. Anyways, I'm feeling way too hung up on such a minor thing. Overall, this little flaw didn't take away any of the fun I had during Kubo and the Two Strings.

He's got him!...What? WHAT?! Why'd it just cut to black?!?!

    Adult thematic material, truly enchanting stop motion animation, and fun action are what makes Kubo and the Two Strings a marvel. There might be some scary parts for kids, what with all the monsters and spirits, but most kids should be able to handle this film. I don't understand how Laika does it. There are way too many factors as to how magical the experience of Kubo and the Two Strings is. I also quickly want to mention that there is a great score here. This film is titled after a kid and his two stringed instrument. Do you think the score is going to be terrible? If it was, I would be very disappointed, but it wasn't so I am not. YAY!  Please don't skip out on, what I think is for sure, one of the best film of the year.

4.8/5

PRO

•    Amazing stop motion animation work
•    Adult themes mixed with children's film shell
•    Fun and cool action scenes

CON

•    Some pacing issues

Kubo and the Two Strings is rated PG for thematic elements, scary images, action and peril

Click here to watch the trailer

Kubo and the Two Strings is in theaters everywhere now

    Thanks for reading, everybody! I really do appreciate it. Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on Facebook here and Twitter here to receive updates on new reviews and trailer drops. Also, if you've already seen Kubo and the Two Strings, comment and let me know what you think of it. Thanks again!

!!!UPDATE!!!

Hey everybody,

    I was planning on writing my review for Kubo and the Two Strings yesterday, but due to challenges in me moving into a new apartment, I have to postpone my review until tomorrow. Today is Sunday on the West Coast of America so that means on Monday I will post it. There hasn't been a lot of time for me to finish writing it and there's also the problem of no internet connection at my new place yet. Right now, I'm writing this on my phone. Professional, right? Anyways, I'm sorry about the postponing of 2 days, but I also have another movie that I wanted to do a review of. Look out for that one sometime this upcoming week.

Thanks for understanding,

C Lo

Jake Gyllenhaal understands...kind of. I'm sorry :(

Check This One Out! - In Bruges

Check This One Out! - In Bruges

Natalie: "Harry. Harry! It's an inanimate f***ing object!"

Harry: "You're an inanimate f***ing object!"

    In Bruges is directed by Martin McDonagh (Seven Psychopaths) and stars Colin Farrell as Ray, Brendan Gleeson as Ken, Ralph Feinnes as Harry, Clémence Poésy as Chloë, Jordan Prentice as Jimmy, Jérémie Renier as Erik, Elizabeth Berrington as Natalie, and Eric Gordon as Yuri.

I have to admit, it took me a good 10 minutes for me to get used to the Irish accents. When I did understand, I couldn't believe what filthy genius statements these guys were making.

    After a mission gone horribly wrong, hitmen Ray and Ken are sent to Bruges, Belgium to await orders from their boss, Harry, as to what the plan is. Guilt-ridden Ray is going through bouts of extreme depression after killing a kid and Ken is conflicted by what Harry wants him to do about that. With these characters in the forefront, the hilarious dark comedy rages in the god awful town of Bruges (Ray's words, not mine).

What the f**k?!?! What the hell's going on?! Oh right...we're in Bruges.

    It may just be my sick sense of humor, but watching Colin Farrell make fun of dwarves, the Vietnamese, Belgians, Americans, African-Americans, and homosexuals is entertaining as hell. I'm sorry if that sentence makes you think differently of me, but the reason I say that is because nobody is safe from getting made fun of. I just think if you're going to go all out on a certain race or religion, you should do it to everyone and with style. In Bruges pretty much nails everyone on the head with that mostly due to the fantastic script that Martin McDonagh also wrote. It wasn't just the detailed grilling on races, religions, and all sorts stereotypes that got me to love this film, but it's also due to the dialogue between the characters involved, especially that between Ray and Ken. Both Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson are fantastic actors, there's no doubt. In Bruges takes their acting to a whole new level incorporating odd, but perfectly blended comedy and drama. There's a certain scene at the end that has Brendan Gleeson's character at the bottom of the circle of life (if you can guess what that is) with gore and all. He can barely talk to Ray,  but with all the strength he has left, Ken says simple things in the most shocking way. I honestly wasn't prepared to see or hear this considering the film's tone, but now that I think about it, it totally makes sense to put this in the movie. Even Ralph Feinnes as Harry is friggin' fantastic. All in all, the performances by all the actors were phenomenal thanks to the casting choices and the dirty, gritty, realistic, and hilarious screenplay.

Ray, please help me understand your fascination with dwarves. 

    In Bruges, surprisingly, has made a big impact in my view of comedies: they can be surrounded by dark subject matter and still be a true comedy. They don't have to be raunchy for the sake of being raunchy, shocking for the sake of being shocking, or touching for the sake of being touching. In Bruges is all of those things, but they all complement each other to live up to the genre of dark comedies. I also want to mention that there's a particular moment that I replayed over and over again laughing my ass off when Ray karate chops a dwarf in the neck. Holy crap, if you have doubts about watching this film, well watch it for that moment at least.

You're going to need a good drink after watching this movie. In all sincerity, I mean that in a good way.

In Bruges is rated R for strong bloody violence, pervasive language, and some drug use

Click here to watch the trailer

In Bruges is available on DVD, Blu-ray, some streaming services, and digital download

    Thanks for reading, everybody! I really do appreciate it. Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on Facebook here and Twitter here to receive updates on new reviews and trailer drops. Also, if you've already seen In Bruges, comment and let me know what you think of it. I'll post another Check This One Out! next week. Thanks again!

Sausage Party ***EXPLICIT*** Review

Sausage Party

Bag of Chips: "What did they do to you?"

Toilet Paper: "You don't wanna fucking know."

    Sausage Party is directed by Greg Tiernan (Thomas & Friends shorts) and Conrad Vernon (Shrek 2, Monsters vs. Aliens, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted) and stars Seth Rogen as Frank, Kristin Wiig as Brenda Bunson, Michael Cera as Barry, Jonah Hill as Carl, Bill Hader as Firewater, Tequila, and El Guaco, Edward Norton as Sammy Bagel Jr., David Krumholtz as Kareem Abdul Lavash, James Franco as Druggie, Danny McBride as Honey Mustard, Paul Rudd as Darren, Nick Kroll as Douche, Selma Hayek as Teresa del Taco, Anders Holm as Troy, and Conrad Vernon as Toilet Paper.

Um...he-hello? How are you? I'm fucking getting hungry now.

    Once upon a time in a grocery store, there lived different kinds of foods and drinks that dreamed to be chosen by gods (humans) to go to the great beyond. The only problem is that beyond the doors of the grocery store, humans actually consume food and drinks. We basically fucking kill these "living things". This story revolves around Frank, a sausage, who discovers this truth and tries to tell everyone, yet nobody believes him. They choose to believe what makes them happy. It's now up to Frank and fellow food friends to show everyone the tragedy that can happen when they leave the grocery store...in the most raunchy, sadistic, and hilarious way possible.

Oh Shit! What the hell is wrong with people?!?! We're eating food with feelings...They taste so good though *diabolical laugh*!

   Well, fuck. Sausage Party is honestly one of the raunchiest animated films I have seen, on par with South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut and Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. I swear, if this was somehow translated into live action, I think this would be released on some sort of porn site that allows twisted people to watch sausages and hot dog buns fuck each other. However, because of the premise alone, a Disney/Pixar-like R-rated animation, it gives me great relief to recommend this film to you. Holy shit, Sausage Party is weird, funny, and, surprisingly, a little thoughtful with the social commentary mixed into the plot. You would think it'd be fucking hilarious to hear the word "fuck" coming out of hot dogs, bagels, feminine hygiene products, fruits, alcoholic beverages, and more. Well it fucking is. Personally, I just found it to get a little overused throughout the first half, thus making the rest of the movie to lose that shock factor of a curse word in a 3D animated movie. It's almost as if it became second nature for the characters to swear every 10 seconds. So I do have to say, that part gets old and, unfortunately, that's almost what the filmmakers relied on most to be funny. It's definitely not unfunny. The swearing is just not AS funny as what some of the action scenes were like. Oh, God, the fucking action scenes...you WILL be shocked and tickled pink (yeah, both in laughter and horniness. I mean, that last part could've actually just been the sour patch kids I was eating) by what a bunch of produce will do onscreen. You'll never look at a bagel the same way. The fucking ending really fucked me up. It's one of the funniest and raunchiest (and sexiest, possibly) endings I have seen in any movie. I found myself laughing at this scene so fucking hard. Like, I think I busted a blood vessel in my eye from laughing. There are about 6 or 7 seriously gut-busting laughs like this throughout Sausage Party and those fucking count. It was just the in-between scenes that are kind of drawn out and therefore didn't consistently keep me laughing.

Get ready to see a lot of sexual and violent tension released by the end ;)

    I have a lot of admiration for films that contain big underlying subject matters like racism, religion, and other social aspects, but hide it well with abnormal environments (Zootopia comes to mind, since it's the most recent). Sausage Party somewhat accomplishes this feat, obviously with a bunch of raunchy humor. To be completely honest, it may have been a little too weird to mix the topics of racism and religion in here considering that the slower parts of Sausage Party (less funny parts) touched on them a bit too seriously. I get it. Sausage Party is almost like a satirical look at society using the Disney feel and style of animation, but they shove these views in our faces a little too hard. I can see like light hot dog slaps in our faces, but to fuck us in the mouth with this satirical hot dog is a little too much for me. Not into it. Putting all the seriousness of social commentary aside, the racist jokes are really racist, the religious jokes are incredibly shocking. It may be because I am 22 years old as of now and I have either made plenty of these jokes or heard them, but I was not taken back by the offensive humor. In fact, I relished them because most people in Hollywood are afraid to make these jokes. They're afraid that most people will get offended. Yeah, if you are one that's easily triggered, don't see this. You'll definitely be offended. Actually, if you're easily triggered, don't see any movie. There's going to be some sort of hint of racism or sexism or anything along those lines (even though there is no intention of hate). Anyways, Sausage Party is hilariously offensive, but to put all this offensiveness in this living food world is genius. There's absolutely no boundary not crossed. Fucking shit, I can see why this movie took around a decade to make.

Read the labels for the characters on the left. Fucking racist, right? In context with the movie, it's still racist, but funny as hell.

    With seemingly endless years in pre-production, Sausage Party has gotten the treatment a Disney film usually gets: musical numbers and lively animation. I don't fucking understand how Alan Menken, who wrote the scores to such Disney classics as Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and Hercules. What the god damn mother fucking hell? Well...I guess people get tired of being stuck in kid world. Sometimes you just got to jump into sex crazed food films. Nevertheless, I loved the crap out of this score and the animation. I do want to address the animation: Seth Rogen has mentioned that he wanted to make this as inexpensively as possible. The animation isn't supposed to look top tier like Pixar animation, but still, I loved how they made the characters look. Not so much the quality of animation, but the quality of the character designs. Sorry. That makes me sound like such a fucking weird creep when you see that the Brenda Bunson is a bodacious hot dog bun with a big ass and Barry is a little sausage, but has the girth to make up for the size. What I mean is the characters match the outrageous nature of the film. Yeah...forget I wrote that down. Also, because of Alan Menken's ability to make creative and happy tunes, the score can probably be put into a children's movie and will fit the feel of a G-rated movie. Sausage Party is NOT a children's movie. Another reason why Sausage Party is one of the most insane movies I have seen in a while.

In terms of how the character resembles the equivalent to a real life human, the douche is my favorite. He is a huge fucking douche and I've met plenty of people like him. Charming, isn't it?

    You know what I found out recently? The red band trailer to Sausage Party was shown in my hometown of Concord, California during a showing of Finding Dory. Let that sink in for a bit. That's pretty fucking messed up, isn't it? I unfortunately did not see Finding Dory in my hometown. I was not here at the time so I couldn't see all the delighted looks on the kids' faces when they saw a sausage  say "fuck!". Another opportunity will come to see children getting scarred for life. Seriously though, if Sausage Party works out in the box office, the door for more R-rated animations could potentially open. I would love for that to happen so we Hollywood can stop being afraid of "offending" people. If you think this movie will be too racist, too sexist, too anti-religious, or too stupid, it's fine. Don't see it then. However, I strongly urge you to put all your feelings for that aside and watch Sausage Party plainly for the fact that you get to see the foods that we eat suffer and cause others to suffer. It's seriously one hell of a fucking ride!

3.7/5

PRO

• Premise of talking, cursing foods and beverages is entertaining as all hell
• Very funny bits
• Offends everyone

CON

• Not as impressively funny as one might think it'd be
• Social commentary sometimes is too "in your face" about it

Sausage Party is rated R for strong crude sexual content, pervasive language, and drug use

Click here to watch the trailer

Sausage Party is in theaters everywhere now

    Thanks for reading, everybody! I really do appreciate it. Please subscribe to my blog and follow me on Facebook here and Twitter here to receive updates on new reviews and trailer drops. Also, if you've already seen Sausage Party, comment and let me know what you think of it. Thanks again!